Russel and Alfies cakes

No need for scales, spoons, whisks, oven or even a kitchen

Ingredients

Not a clue

Method

Make a phone call. Drive to allotment site and take position on plot. If no sign of cake move poly tunnel three inches to the left. If still no sign of cake then move poly tunnel three inches to the right. While still waiting for cake call Alfie over to discuss position and orientation of poly tunnel and then with his help move poly tunnel to various positions until you end up where you started. Continue until cake arrives, delivered by hand and placed on display shelf along with vegetables purchased earlier in Tescos. Vacate site while waving cake under noses of those less fortunate than you

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